if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
