trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He uses pillows to masturbate.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
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