I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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