I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize