apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
