Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize