What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
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