Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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