Pregnant stripper...not hot.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
