had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
even my farts smell like vagina
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
