I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I love you. Go after that dick
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
