we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
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