I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
