the condom got lost in my hair
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Randomize