TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
