She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
