My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
