the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
