He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
