Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
