if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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