You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Randomize
