why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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