he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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