I cockslap morals
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
