420 ftw
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
