My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
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