i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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