So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
