Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
