Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
