it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Actions speak louder than pants.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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