HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
