Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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