Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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