these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Randomize
