So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We got so high we made milksteak
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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