I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
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