Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
