love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
