Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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