My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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