pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
