If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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