Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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