she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
