I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
