also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
