i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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