yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Randomize
