Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
