You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
