2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
