Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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