Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
