I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Randomize
