what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Randomize
