the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
