im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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