he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize