I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
