She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
