who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
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