does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
