i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
