it hurts more in the daytime
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
OPIZZABONMYDICK
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
