Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I need moral support for this bender
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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