'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
