he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize