I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Randomize
