Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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