i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Just pee around me
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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